


Road to Hell

by Misanagi



Category: Gundam Wing
Genre: Angst, Dark, Gen, PTSD
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-12-01
Updated: 2009-12-01
Packaged: 2017-10-04 01:57:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 693
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24723
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Misanagi/pseuds/Misanagi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The thing about peace is that it isn't peaceful at all.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Road to Hell

**Author's Note:**

> Written for [](http://community.livejournal.com/gw_dark/profile)[**gw_dark**](http://community.livejournal.com/gw_dark/)'s February challenge.

_On your journey 'cross the wilderness  
From the desert to the well  
You have strayed upon the motorway to Hell_  
\- Chris Rea

The thing about peace is that it isn't peaceful at all. If Dorothy had been right about just one thing it was about men's love for conflict, their desire to fight. Quatre knows that, he suspected it since the first arguments with his father and he knew it for sure the first time he climbed inside a Mobile Suit and took a life. It hurt, of course, but beyond his conscience there was the feeling of victory, of having been tested and having succeeded and even now, years after and with his hands covered in blood he can't deny the feeling is still there.

Still, it isn't that feeling what drives him to snap a man's head five years after the war is set and done. No, that's another feeling, one a lot less pleasant but as constant as the first. After all, they come together: the thirst for battle and the paranoia. It's useful in war, it's even a necessity and if it wasn't for those instincts that made him dodge and fire without even thinking he wouldn't have survived. It's that feeling, that instinct, which makes him turn around as soon as he senses a presence behind him and moments later one man is dead on the floor and Quatre can add another kill to his long list.

He never knows the man's name. He doesn't stay to find out because the sound of the man's neck snapping has done something to him, has broken the tight control he has kept for the last five years and the terrorist is free again and he doesn't want to go back. He ignores the gun laying just inches away from the dead man's fingers. He itches for it but he still has some control and he walks away, leaves the gun. He doesn't need a weapon anyway.

It's weeks before he allows himself to stop and by then he doesn't know which city he's in, he doesn't know if he has eaten, where he has slept or what he has done. That night he sits on a park bench and watches people walk by. After midnight a woman screams and Quatre walks behind some bushes to see three men raping her. They see him and that's why they die. Quatre likes to think that if he had remained unnoticed he would have simply incapacitated them but they see him and they attack. Quatre doesn't hold back. The woman screams again and again and Quatre finds himself walking away. He really doesn't like those screams.

People always find a way to fight, Quatre realizes. They hate and kill and maim and torture and hurt and Quatre sees it and sometimes, he hurts back. Days and nights pass and Quatre doesn't know how many dead men he has left in back allies, public bathrooms, by river shores. He only knows those men, all of them, had fallen to the feeling of power, had let all control go and were therefore lost even before they met him.

One afternoon he thinks he might be lost as well. The thought isn't troubling for with it comes the truth that if that's the case then it's just a mater of time before his own Quatre comes along and he is no more.

That's what he thinks has happened they day he wakes up to find Duo looking down at him. Quatre lets himself smile. It seems fitting enough. But Duo isn't there to kill him and when Quatre looks into his eyes he discovers he's not the only one lost. The God of Death has come but it's not Quatre he's looking for. Instead Quatre joins him and loses himself a little more, finds himself a little more.

Duo walks the same road, has actually be walking it longer than Quatre and now they walk together. Quatre knows it's just a matter of time before they find the others along the road. After all, it's the only one left for them to walk on.

 

\- The End -


End file.
